Birthday Ruminations
I turned 24 this week, not a huge milestone by normal counts (the 16th, 18th, 20th, 21st, 30th 😨etc. ) years, but still decently cool. One year off from being a quarter of a century old and one year past having consecutive digits. At least there's some decent number properties, like:
- There are 24 hours in a day
- 24 is the smallest number with exactly 8 divisors
- 24 is the factorial of 4
- 24 is highly composite
- The first number squared is equal to the second
Each birthday, I like to reflect on my previous year. The highs and the lows, and what all God has done in my life. Also to decide and pray for how God wants to use me in my coming year of life. To say the last year has been a roller coaster would be an understatement. While I was 23, I enjoyed my first year working full time after graduating college, moving to Minnesota and saying goodbye to Madison SD after spending the better half of a decade there, taking many trips with Abby across the country, and most importantly finding out I was going to be a father!
But through this all, and in this most recent season, one thing that has really stood out to me, and is something I want to keep with me in the next year, Matthew 11:28-30. The year has been so much fun and filled with many memorable events. But it hasn't all been easy; it's probably been my most challenging year of being alive yet. Focusing on this verse has helped center me and remind me where to go when the world is crazy and busy. His yoke is better than any other!
Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light. Matthew 11:28-30
The Good:
- Spending weekly time with my best friend Caleb playing Mario Kart, Super Smash Bros and other various games
- Working with Abby at DigiKey while she was a summer intern on my team. Going into work each morning was a blast where we were able to read New Morning Mercies during the drive and talk about God
- Masquerading as fantasy creatures for Abby and Anna's murder mystery party (and being totally wrong on who actually did it)
- Discovering self-hosted applications (honestly may be the worst time suck I've ever found 🙃)
- Having family and friends around for multiple baby showers
- Playing Fooshuffle and Mario kart at the office Christmas party
- Meeting my parent's new dog Rex
- Traveling to Duluth with Abby and enjoying a quiet weekend
The Hard:
- Saying goodbye to my beloved childhood companion Star. It was tough to say good bye to the dog I grew up with over the last 13 years and raised from a small puppy
- Watching Abby suffer from bad morning sickness. Sitting there through many mornings with not being able to fix anything really sucks
- Finding new life dynamics and friends outside of college
- Going through intense security incidents at work (if a hacker is reading this, please no hax, thx!)
- Having to navigate the job world with the federal hiring freeze for Abby
The All Over:
The biggest event of the year was finding out I was to be a dad. When Abby and I found out in February that she was pregnant, I was left speechless. We had joked about something being up since her period was running late, and I think a part of me knew that she was pregnant, but I didn't want it to be true and was wanting to be in denial. Then Abby came into the room after one of my work meetings and silently handed me a pregnancy test showing positive. That answered that question. We both started bawling in fear, sadness, joy and literally every emotion, not knowing how to feel.
Having been newly married and very uncertain of the future, it was hard to hear that news. We shared many tears and were left wondering why and how could we do this. We've always wanted to be parents, but preferably on our timeline and a few years later after we're settled more financially and geographically. And a part of it is losing the freedom and ease of life of it just being the two of us that scared me. Luckily, God gives us 9 months to prepare and work through these emotions. One thing that really helped Abby and I was making peace that this is part of God's plan and that we didn't have to walk through this alone. Coming across other's who had similar worries helped as well (Focus on the Family) That it's okay to be upset at first, and that the love will grow towards the little one. I can confidently say that after getting through the first few months of Abby having morning sickness, my love towards that little guy is immense. After seeing the first little pictures, hearing his heart beat, and seeing his little kicks I've fallen in love and am so excited to finally meet him!
Goals and Hopes:
- Figure out how to survive a newborn and become a good father
- Get involved with church and do better at volunteering
- Become a proud owner of a Ninja Slushi
- Buy a house or town home
- Finish some server projects and start writing tech walkthroughs
- Learn all 200 knots from the book Abby bought me for my birthday
Hope you all enjoyed my first real blog post! Here's to kicking off my 24th year of life!